This article as described is based on a conversation with Elena Brandt, its creator Example. Edited for length and clarity.
I never dreamed of a big family. I think I will have maybe two children. Both my husband Mikhail and I discovered that we love having children. We have four – 8 years, 5, 3, and 6 months – and can still try a fifth.
My career hasn’t stopped even though I’m in the throes of motherhood. I’m pursuing my doctorate in psychology at the University of Florida, and I’m the co-founder of Besample, a behavioral research startup that helps researchers collect data from outside the US.
I like the company because it solves a long-standing problem: most scientific research is based on information from students in the US, while 95% of the rest of the world is ignored. That leads to some serious inaccuracies in research, which my colleagues and I look forward to addressing.
I brought my baby to the emergency room when he was three weeks old
With personal and professional support, I have kept my career on track even while raising our family. When I was eight months pregnant, I found out that Besample was accepted by Techstars, a three-month accelerator. My husband said he can take care of the three older children so I can adopt the child.
So I came out with my son Darwin when he was just three weeks old. Techstars is nothing but supportive. They asked me if I wanted a chance to breastfeed Darwin or put him to sleep. During the presentation night, which comes at the end of the fast track, they celebrated Darwin as the youngest resident Techstars ever.
It was through Techstars that I got tickets to Y Combinator’s Female Founders Conference. Y Combinator is a big thing in the startup world, and I’m eager to be inspired by other female founders. I posted that I think it is a once-in-a-pass opportunity to think in one post whether Darwin will make any child friends. I hope that babies are not only welcomed but also celebrated.
I don’t feel that way.
I was asked to leave when there was talk of starting a company while I was having a baby
Immediately, I did not see the baby again. Then I listened to Tracy Young, mother and founder, talk about her mother’s experience when starting a business. He discussed watering before an investment meeting and the other physical challenges of being a founder and a new baby.
Darwin was on the train and I was rocking him back and forth as he slept. When she started talking and moaning, I moved to the back of the room. That’s when someone came up to me and said, “Would you like to move your child outside? I want people to have the full experience at this conference.”
I later found out that he was one of the partners of Y Combinator.
There are disputes in business about whether there is room for families
I’m not naming this woman because I think the problem is with me or her. It is about this conflict in the business world right now. For many, including me, the pandemic proved that it is possible to be a hands-on mother and entrepreneur. Others want to maintain a business environment with different babies.
To me, that’s ridiculous. Being asked to leave with a sedated baby during a talk that was so clear about the challenges of being a mother and a designer was shocking. I realized then that the monster of the system barriers of entrepreneurs who are also mothers is bigger than I realized.
I would like to see changes that are useful for designers who are mothers
I received a confidential apology email from the woman opposite me, but I haven’t heard anything from Y Combinator. For me, this shows how different the incubator is. They make token gestures, like having a Women’s Conference, but don’t engage with mothers with meaningful support.
I’m not asking for much. Just don’t tell me to leave. Trust me I will leave if my child is causing trouble to anyone.
If you really want to make a difference for parents, offer on-site childcare. Change the story that tells us that children are a distraction. Instead, let’s look at what they are: the next generation who will take care of us when we are older.
Imagine innovators playing together at Y Combinator’s daycare. That would be the kind of beneficial change that would make a real difference for female entrepreneurs.
Editor’s note: Y Combinator did not respond to a request for comment from BI.